Dr Suriyakhatun Osman
name of God the Beneficient and the Merciful
Cause of All Negative Emotions is a disruption in the Body's Energy
System. So reads the caption in the beginning of the Emotional Freedom
I had downloaded for free from the internet. Another person said that
the reason we are traumatised is because our emotions lose its fluidity
and we freeze them inside of us and we get ill from the rigidity of the
life is what you get when you’re born ... living is what you do with
Often times when I ask people
to dive within and look into themselves , the pain they feel makes them
not want to look anymore but every once in a while, someone who is
willing to continue looking and facing the pain will come along and
this person will then start transforming. I have often wondered how it
is that when what is hidden within ourselves becomes known, it changes
and transforms becomes fluid and moves on. Then there are the problems
that seemed insurmountable. What to do about them, we worry about them
day and night, walk around with stooped shoulders from the great weight
of the problem . I ve had my fair share of having seemingly
insurmountable problmes, also listening in to these insurmountable
problems , and some of them do seem really unbearable. And again my
answer to these people who came to me with these huge burdens was to
look at them , shining the light of consiousness and of presence,
inviting in the Divine presence that may perhaps provide a solution.
And, sometimes the solution was really simply that the problem that
seemed so huge, like a huge dragon casting its shadows on our lives,
shrinks to the size of a wee lizard! What kind of attitude, stance,
manner of existence is one that will give us the peace and joy we seek?
The pleasure of living life which as time goes by becomes more and more
elusive. The constant thoughts of I will be happy when this happens and
then when this finally happens, the happiness moves just out of reach
and we find ouselves pursuing another mirage with the thought of I will
be happy when ..... When I started writing this, it was with the
perspective of a person who has problems and will continue to have
problems but who lives with enough resources and under what
I would say are pretty optimal and condusive circumstances .I think
will will continue to write with this perspective for most of us
reading this, if we have the time and the means to be reading this,
will be in this situation. Since writing this however , I have attended
a 3 day workshop highlighting the situation of a people in an occupied
war zone, where every day people wake up with no other thought but how
to survive that day and live the next. I cannot even begin to imagine
the reality of being in this situation either as the oppressor or the
oppressed for it must be very difficult to be in either situation. I
have therefore now an added perspective of seeing how old stuck
feelings, that are not only the feelings of the person but also of the
whole collective consciousness of a nation can impact on people's lives
and behaviour and it is those who can take themselves out of the
scripting that has been embeded into their consciousness , individual
and collective who will then be able to regain their peace.
-- Jim Allen
Before I proceed any further
, I would like for us to do a simple exercise for ouselves and it is a
process that is most healing if we do it right . Himayat taught me
about Inquiry with presence , it is a practice that helps us find the
motives behing the motives and the feelings behind the feelings, The
inquiry into the very foundation of our actions and reactions. For me
it is like shining the Divine light into the darkest areas of our being
, the parts of us that remain hidden except for those willing to really
examine and look.
The simple tool that I use
here is a journalling technique of Dailogue
"Someone to tell it to is one
of the fundamental needs of human beings." -- Miles Franklin
With this tool, you carry on
a written conversation, making up the parts for both speakers.
Your dialogue partner(s) can
be any person or thing that you want it to be .It can even be parts of
yourself. You can have more than one dialogue partner for for a start
let us limit it to one dialogue partner.
We begin by being
conscious of our breathing and focusing on the heart space, the chest
area that has as its boundaries the clavicle, the rib cage and the
diaphragm. As you do this, you become aware of the breathing becoming
slower and steadier . When you feel youself getting into the meditative
state, you can start the Inquiry with presence that I have modified so
that we can do it for ourselves
First write down "ME" and
write your question. Then write down the name of the partner you are
talking with and note his/her/its response. Then ask another question.
You make up the response. You do both parts of the dialogue. Your
dialogue partner can also ask you questions. In doing this , use your
imagination and make it up as you go along but let it be an expression
of you. Write for 10 to 30 minutes. Write as quickly as you can , this
is an essential technique of journalling the speed stops you from being
too analytical at this point. As you get into the dialogue, ask
questions like: "What is the meaning of this situation?" "Is there
anything else?" "Is this the truth?" "Is there more you can tell me so
I have full understanding?" When you have completed, read over the
dialogue and write a short summary.
suggestion is much appreciated
While waiting for responses ,
I have been thinking on this topic over the weekend and would like to
relate here a couple of things that I have been reflecting on.
had a patient , a woman of 62 whose problems seemed to be numerous.She
was hypertensive on medication but her blood pressure when I checked
was normal. She had some arthritis as well but her suffering was far
beyond the health problems she seemed to be having. A long time ago
when she first got married, she had felt humiliated by something her
husband did. The feeling had persisted up until the time she saw me.All
the time she was on her guard taking note of all the comments her
husband made, and she continued to feel hurt everyday , at every
instance when she read into her husband's words belittling comments
towards her. Even when he suggested they stopped for a meal on a
journey, she read it as an attempt to ridicule her appettite. Indeed,
she could not see what she was doing and to her, it seemed that it was
her husband who persistingly and intentionally was making her life
have some questions here that perhaps we can answer together.
She suggested that her husband
needed a marriage counsellor so that he could stop what he was doing
and she could stop feeling so bad about it.
Would this help her?
What would you suggest she do for
"We do not write in order to be
understood; we write in order to
understand." -- Robert
In the last class I
conducted, I had prepared the class way ahead and sent it in 4 sections.
This time , I thought I would
let the class evolve from the feedback I got as well as from my own
continued meditations and experiences as the days unfolded.
Before I comment on the
feedback that I had , I would like to continue on a few reflections
that I have had over the past few days.
We are not our
emotions.Emotions need not be what drives us and emotions that we
experience are surface ripples that do not touch the core of our being
we let them . Emotions
however, need to be addressed and we need to pay them due attention for
they tell us a lot about what is happening within us, things that
matter , things we need to know about ourselves and our attitudes for
the first step towards having a healing attitude towards life is to
know what our present
What I have discovered from
having an active inner life is that there is within a constant reminder
that things happen for a reason and to constantly be in a state of
inquiry, asking myself what does this mean what does this thing
that is happening now address , personally for me , for my progress in
my evolution and for the people that I serve?
I do realise however , when
we are at the bottom of the negative end of the emotional tonal scale ,
we can hardly pull ourselves out and probably very few would be able to
help themselves except those who are designated to be wounded healers ,
these people will not only heal themselves but would have gained enough
insights into their problems to help others.
For those of us who have
chosen healing as our path, we find we need to see our clients through
their emotions to understand their attitudes and to guide them , giving
gentle nudges until they find for themselves a different way of Being,
one that helps them get the fuidity and gets them out of the stuck
stages. And in this, one of the most important things we need to do is
listen and we will not be able to listen to others if we have not made
it a practice to listen to our own selves.
Again on the subject of
emotions, I would like to focus on pain. What do we do when we feel
Take painkillers and ignore
Live with the pain and just
Focus on the pain and react
to the pain by having a poor me attitude?
Find the source of the pain
and get rid of it? ( Not so simple for the most part)
This came for me in the mail
today and I was most surprised since it has a lot to do with what I was
going to write.
Since it has been put very
nicely here I am pasting the whole article since it says
adequately what I had wanted to say as well as describes pretty well
the practice of being present to the pain.
GROWTH TIP – RELEASING PAIN (from a Higher Awareness
you comfortable in your pain? “Pardon me?” you might say. “Pain is NOT
comfortable!” Well, it can be. Many of us have lived in pain and
distress and even minor pains like disappointment, frustration and
disgust for so long that it has become normal for us.
identify with a ‘poor me’ perspective of ourselves. It’s so familiar
that we resist changing. We’re more comfortable living with the pain we
know than risking a move into a pain-free unknown.
do we get around this, then, if we truly want to be free of our pain?
Once again, awareness is the key.
need to bring awareness to our experience.
this process: When you are in pain, focus your attention on your
feelings. Feel the sensations in your body without getting your head
judge or analyze your feelings.
them to be there without getting hooked into the ‘I am suffering’ or
the ‘I should not be suffering’ perspective.
we truly experience our pain without identifying with it, we become a
detached watcher of our experience.
when we do this, guess what! The pain starts to dissolve.
more we can bring this detached watcher to our experiences, the more we
free ourselves from old patterns of suffering and anxiety.
takes repeated attention to this process to shift old habits, and it’s
well worth the effort to create a new identify for ourselves.
long as a part of your sense of self is invested in your emotional
pain, you will unconsciously resist or sabotage every attempt that you
make to heal that pain.” -- Eckhart Tolle
Hazrat Inayat Khan
The third aspect of our physical existence is the perfecting of our
body, in other words the fineness, the sensitiveness, of the body.
There is a spiritual temperament, and that temperament you can see from
a person’s body.There are sensitive people, maybe a little bit nervous,
and then there are dense people who have quite a different aspect A
sensitive person who can appreciate music, who can respond to the
beauty of line and color, who can enjoy a salt and sweet, a sour and
bitter taste fully, who can feel cold and heat, who can perceive
fragrance, distinguish all these, it is he who is born with a spiritual
The person who has no love for music, who cannot appreciate fragrance,
who cannot understand the beauty of line and color that person is
dense, and it will take time for him to develop. Therefore the
experience of all the joy and pleasure that life offers is not in
materiality, it is in spirituality.It is not the material person who
experiences life fully; it is the spiritual person who does so.
Going back to the case I
related earlier I have this feedback from Gayle:
can't 'make' anybody else do anything.
can't make other people change their patterns and thought forms
only change ourselves.
understand her own reactions is her best choice (even if he does go to
triggers in place for herself each time she knows that she will
to Love herself
Learn to honour her own thoughts
These are things we
learn from a lot of self help books and motivational courses we attend.
How then do we apply these principles in healing ourselves and others
who are suffering from what others do to us?
Actually the problem is not
what people do to us. The problem is expectation, our expectation. So
one of the first things I would like to suggest is to have no
expectation of what things should be but to instead look at the reality
or, what is.We keep getting hurt repeatedly because we expect things to
change, people to change but the reality is that they do not
change.Because we want people to change the focus we have is on the
aspects of them that is hurting us and we want changed.
Again going back to the case
I related earlier, the next thing I suggested to her was to focus on
the positive apects of her husband. In order to do this, I suggested
that she do a simple exercise every night before sleeping. I suggested
that she counted at least 5 positive aspects of her husband before she
went to sleep.
Another suggestion I had was
to ask her to do a simple prayer as zikr. A zikr is a repetition
of a wazifah, in most cases a wazifah is a name of Allah , usually said
to be 99 but in fact exceeds 99. Each Divine name reflects a divine
quality and repeating wazifahs have a subtle effect on our being. I
have pasted below a paragraph about the practice of Zikr. In this
woman's case the zikr I asked her to do was a small prayer that
echoes what we have been saying before about focusing on the present.
The translating of the prayer is:
Lord God, protect me from regret of the past and anxiety over the
It is a famous prayer of
Prophet Muhamed peace be upon him and the Arabic version sounds like
Inni A'uzubika minal Hammi Wal Hazn.
by calling on the Name of God, in the form of prayer, or in Zikr, or in
any other form, what the mystic does is to awaken the spirit of the
real ego in order that
it may manifest. It is just like a spring which rises out of the rock
and which, as soon as the water has gained power and strength, breaks
even through stone and
becomes a stream. So it is with the divine spark in man. Through
concentration, through meditation, it breaks out and manifests; and
where it manifests it washes
away the stains of the false ego and turns into a greater and greater
stream, which in turn becomes the source of comfort, consolation,
healing, and happiness for all who come into contact with that
Hazrat Inayat Khan message volume X
Another aspect of
attitude is the attititude of acceptance , what Muslims call redha.
Here is a feedback from a Muslim woman who does healing practices
and said she had faced a similar situation:
it was a very hard thing to do, but I found out that when I redha
(acceptance) whatever Allah has given to me, I felt a load dissappear
from my heart. Sufi healing practice also helped me forget my
resentment towards my husband's ego.”
The practices that she
does daily are the purification breaths as well and the healing
zikrs.The healing zikrs are Shafee/Kafee, Muhyi/Muid and Quddus/Hay.She
also does energy center cleansing practice of Subhanallah-Qudus-Hu
which I feel cannot be related here but has to be demonstrated. However
a simple version can be safely done .
relation to the energy system of the body, a simple model would be the
one of 7 energy centers or Chakras .These are the Base Center, the
Sexual Center, the Solar Plexus Center, the Heart Center, the Throat
Center , the Third Eye center and the Crown center. You can find an
image of the energy centers at this URL:
simple version of energy center cleansing is to focus on each energy
center and to recite aloud the purification zikr Quddus.
Al Quddus is one of the 99 names of
Allah and it literally translates as The Holy One.
You will find classes
about the Purification breaths archived on the sufihealing class
To summarize what I have written about healing attititudes thus far:
1.Be aware of our motives and what moves us
2.Focus on the positive and the present.
3. Be aware that it is expectation which hurts us.
4. Acceptance of what is has to come before healing can take place.
5.Use tools to help us change our way of being.
- Practice presence and be
present to our bodies, their emotions aches and pains in a non
judgemental third person manner
- Use breathing
exercises,especially the element breaths
- Use zikrs and prayers
There are some attitudes
which I find essential if one is to lead a life of happiness and joy.
Joy and peace are essential
states of being. They are what we would feel under the most optimal
cicumstances but few of us are fortunate enough to have been conceived
and born under optimal conditions. It is for this reason we get
wounded, and the time of wounding goes beyond birth , sometimes I feel
even beyond the moment of conception for we even inherit our state.
There have been many occasions when I have treated emotional and health
problems in infants by treating the state the mother was in when she
was pregnant. I use homeopathy but then again homeopathy is also a form
of vibrational/energy healing and I have no doubt that spritual healing
can do the same.
A case I remember very well
is that of an infant whom I saw for the first time while he was crying
very angrily. His weeping was loud and angry and soon I began to get
angry as well. It was at this point that I looked at his parents and
noticed their anger as well. I took the baby from his mum and gave the
infant to his dad , and asked him to take the infant out of the room
and told him to repeat Ya Salam and feel the peace in his heart. I sat
with the mum and lead her in a heart space exercise, asking her to
focus on her breathing and I did an inquiry. I found out the reaon for
her anger. She was angry with some doctors who had told her that her
child was brain damaged and would not even be able to be brest fed. Her
anger made her try very hard to breast feed and she did breast feed the
child but she never stopped being very angry. It was true , the infant
had cerebral palsy but the insensitive way the news was told to her
made her angry. We then noticed the quiet for the child had stopped
screaming and was calm.The couple came to ask me to heal their child
who never stopped crying in his waking hours, with the only respite
being when he slept.I treated all three of them that day and the child
stopped being angry from them on. I am still seeing the child for his
cerebral palsy, he is making slow progress.
This case illustrates the
woundedness that the child experiencd almost from his birth, at a time
when he was too vulnerable to know how to deal with it. Yet it was
through healing his parents that he became calm.
The other point from this
case was that I too started becoming angry, the anger was contagious
and it is true in many of our real life situations when we are
influenced by feelings of the whole group that we are in.
What then is the atttitude
that we need to remain an oasis of peace in the midst of the chaotic
emotions and negativity that surrounds us ? A lot of the answers are
within what I have already written and a few more will be offered soon.
I am sorry that the
conclusion to the class I had conducted is so late.
I had intended to write it at
the end of April but I ended up in Kota Kinabalu instead and was
there for more than 3 weeks!
I had asked in a previous
is the atttitude that we need to remain an oasis of peace in the midst
of the chaotic
A lot of the answers are
within what I have already written and a few more will be offered soon.
and negativity that surrounds us ?
I had felt severelly tested
when I had to face the situation I was in. My husband was very ill, I
had never been in such a situation except when my dad was terminally
ill and I was only 16.
I still remember the
heaviness that haunted me those days knowing fully well it was only a
matter of time before my dad was to die. The sadness I experienced
lasted months before he died and after he died.
This time faced with my
husband's acute fulminating illness, I had to go within myself to find
that oasis of peace and acceptance come what may.
I actually did find it and
was actually ready for the worst even while I remained hopeful and
continued to pray for his recovery.
I surrendered what was beyond
my control and continued to do all I could under the circumstances.
When he woke up from all the
sedatives they had put him under, I told him that he had been chosen to
experience something very unique and rare and that it would help him in
the work he had still to do.
So what I found in all that I
had undergone was that hope and surrender and looking for the silver
lining behind every incident helped me tremoundously.
Admitting to being wrong and
apologizing were two other attitudes that saved a very difficult
situation I had gotten into because all my hidden animosities had
reared its ugly head under the stress I was in. There was
resolution in what could have become a severe rift between myself and
my eldest daughter.
Many times I had to go within
myself and make myself present to my emotions because I found
myself getting numb and did not want to be numb for I wanted to
be in touch with my emotions and experience them fully .
I am finding myself more
compassionate with my patients in the few days that I have resumed work
I am also finding ways to
couch whatever I need to tell them in the most positive terms for I
discovered that it is never too foolish to have hope even in the most
seemingly hopeless situation and that to take away hope from someone is
a cruel thing to do and is needless for even if one has to face the
death of a beloved , it helps to hope even to the last moment for a
reprieve while at the same time preparing our beloved one to face the
inevitable and surrendering oneself to face whatever happens.
One of my worse moments came
when a chest specialist came to talk to me about my husband's lungs.
He said " Your husband's
lungs are like planks , they ve gone stiff ,"and he shook his head as
if to tell me that my husband was beyond saving. He was wrong, but even
if he was right , it was the worse thing any of the doctors told me.
I guess my manner sometimes
is like this doctor, I wanted people to face reality and told them what
I thought was the truth , but the truth is, one does not know the truth
when it comes to prognosis.
anesthetist, a wonderful Budhist Lady told me, " Your husband's Satt
Score is very high,
is in the 80% fatality but then again, your husband is not a statistic,
he is an individual.
I hung on to this and did not
give up hope.
So this is the one last
attitude that one has to have in this life is Hope.
Indeed there surely is more
but I leave that for others to complete.