The Wounded Healer
Dr Suriyakhatun Osman copyright

This class was done online in the sufihealing list in January 2004


If it were not for pain, one would not enjoy the experience of joy. It is pain which helps one to experience joy,

for everything is distinguished by its opposite.

Aphorism of Hazrat Inayat Khan

Dear Class,


We will be doing a class on wounds and healing. What I mean by wounds are anything that has pained us and continue to cause pain. Sometimes it is difficult to separate physical pain from emotional pain and they are so related that I find, more that 70% of the cases I treat in my clinic are some form of emotional pain that translates into physical illnesses. Most of us want to escape our pain and we find ways and means to dull the pain or remove the pain. I hope in this class we will learn how to deal with our pain and from here , that of others healing ourselves and at the same time becoming healers.

No one escapes being wounded. Most of us survive our wounds but some of our wounds continue to cripple us , we carry the burdens of our wounds around wherever we go. It is by learning and understanding the nature of our wounds and understanding what caused them and healing from them that we learn to then help others. I had understood this when I started treating patients more than 20 years ago. I found that I could empathize with patients a lot when they told me their problems when I could relate to their problems because I had also had the same problems, more so when I had learned to overcome these problems myself . I had also found that while other people went to doctors and healers to get better, it seemed to me that most of the time, I had to find my own answers and my own solutions to heal my own hurts , wounds and illnesses. It seemed to me my path was a difficult one, and I often wondered why I could not have someone to go to who would show me the way and help me heal but it was not meant to be for me, for my path was that of the wounded healer and I had to learn to heal myself and then help others heal themselves.


In the last paragraph of part 2 of volume 4 of the Message Volumes Hazrat Inayat Khan said:

Consciously or unconsciously. every being is capable of healing himself or others. This instinct is inborn in insects, birds, and beasts, as well as in man. All these find their own medicine and heal themselves and each other in various ways. In ancient days the doctors and healers learned much from animals about the treatment of  disease. This shows that natural intuition has manifested in the lower creation as well as in the higher. The scientists of today should not, therefore, claim with pride that they are the inventors of chemical remedies, but should humbly bow their heads in prayer, seeing that each atom of this universe, conscious of its sickness, procures for itself from within or without a means for its restoration. In other words, medicines were not discovered by physicians, but were intuitively found in creation as the necessity for them arose.

These words have served to comfort me and have let me understand why I am more and more conscious of what to take and what to do to heal myself .As my instincts and senses develop more , and I learned to trust the thoughts that flash through my mind and act upon them, I find myself more and more able to help others heal themselves.

Much of what I know about illnesses and diseases and wounds come from my teachers. One of my homeopathy teachers Rajan Sankaran says that disease is a delusion and, my teacher Himayat echoed what I learned from Sankaran when he talks about us losing our essential state from the initial wounding that we get and here I would like to trace the anatomy of such a wound.

When we are children and we have a perspective of something, it changes when we experience something that frightens us. Children are much more vulnerable than adults and have less resources to deal with the traumatic situations they find themselves to be in and, it is usually the first time that something happens to them that they learn about a situation that had the potential to cause unpleasant things to happen and from the first incident they learn to associate the situation with the unpleasant emotion. I remember when I first saw my baby sister and was full of wonderment and pleasure at this little human being and my joy changed in one instance to fear when I picked her up and my mother screamed at me , afraid that I would drop her and of course I immediately dropped my sister, luckily for her, onto the bed. I think at that point in time , my feelings about my baby sister had changed and there was no more joy in seeing her, she now was associated with fear , fear of my mother's anger, it was perhaps also the realization that I was no longer the center of the universe for the adults around me. It was the beginning of a wound I carried into my adult life. That the situation is unpleasant is by association , and that association is in itself not true, and thus, a delusion. What was real was my joy , the essential state I was in before my emotions became traumatized and transformed into fear. That fear was a real fear because it was brought on by my mother's reaction to my carrying my sister, what then becomes a delusion is my associating my spontaneous act of carrying my sister, done out of love , with fear.


Before we go any further, I would like for us to do an exercise here.

Start focusing on the breath and and observe the breath until it becomes regular and heartbeat slows and the heart space starts to expand as in the breath lessons Himayat taught last month.

Then when you are centered in the heart space, recall a childhood trauma that you remember. Try to relive the experience and observe how your body reacts to the memory. Different people react differently so be present to all of your body as you remember the incident. You may focus on each part of your body and note the sensations there to see where you react to the memory. Focus on the head. The neck, the chest and breathing, the back, the stomach the pelvis,the arms and the thighs and knees , right down to the feet, notice any discomfort , any sense of constriction and tightness you find anywhere and note them down.

Please share what you experience in the class , God willing it will help us to understand how childhood trauma may still be affecting how we act and , help us to heal from it.

Part 2


Love is itself its own medicine

Love all its own wounds heals.

No one can ever imagine,

pain that lover's heart feels.

Hazrat Inayat Khan, Nirtan (Love)


Emotions come in pairs. This is what I have observed and learned through the writings of others and in my studies on homeopathy and healing. There is a psychiatric condition that also suggests this polarity, manic depressive or bipolar as it is sometimes shortened into.

Here are some of the basic emotions and their poles:

Joy/sadness

Excitement/Fear

Love/Anger


This polarity is often seen in relationships. Have we ever wondered why the person we love most is also the person we are most likely to be angry with? One emotion masks the other and it is only by getting to the bottom of one that we find the other lying underneath and being masked by it.

Excitement can turn to anxiety which is a part of fear, love can turn to hate which is a part of anger, and joy is frequently masked by sadness.

By understanding these emotions in ourselves, we can learn also to let ourselves experience the amplitude of the emotion, removing the rigid structures we have over the years built to protect ourselves from pain but themselves prevent us from experiencing the essential states of Joy , Love and Enthusiasm ( excitement)

As Healers, it is important for us to be able to see the potential for love in the angry person and the potential for joy in the depressed person and help the person get there.

Here is a prayer of the Prophet Muhammad that reminds me about the practice of Presence:



My Lord God,

Protect me from regret over the past and anxiety over the future

( Allhumma inni, Auzubika minal Hammi Wal Hazan)

Prayer of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him


Regret over the past and anxiety over the future are the basic states that prevent us from experiencing the present moment which is the key to a spiritual outlook in life and also the key to a fluidity of emotions that adults seldom experience but that we can observe in children playing. Next time you see children playing at a playground , take the time to observe the fluidity of their emotions.

And now we will do another practice , taking it one step further than in the previous practice to see if we can unmask our emotions.


Take yourself to the heart space by focusing on the chest while observing your breath. This should come much more easily now because of doing the previous lessons on breath. If not then simply watch your breathing and then , when you feel yourself able to focus within, bring into your mind the memory of an incident that has hurt you in the past. Observe how your body reacts to this memory by scanning your \body , your thoughts and emotions as in the previous exercise we did. Be present to your body and all that it is experiencing and remain observing your breath. Stay in this manner until your have undergone the whole amplitude of changes that happens when we do this practice.Stay with each sensation for as long as you can without trying to rid yourself of the pain and without resisting what is happening, just allow without judgement as if you are an observer yet watching yourself. .

What is the final outcome of this practice?

Share with us your practice that we may learn to understand how this practice has unmasked the hurt feelings we started out with.

Kathleen has so generously shared with us her practice which seems to me is a response to my second part rather than the first part which is why I have chosen to include my response to her post her in my second part.


Kathleen wrote:


“As you suggested, I began with the approach taught by Himayat.  I was first present to my breath.  I felt my breath going behind the sternum.  I was aware of the sensation which comes when I breathe on the ember of my heart. I felt my mind descend into my heart.  I was looking through the eye of the heart.  I allowed my heart to inform me as to how to proceed.  I allowed my heart to guide me as to what wound to attend to with my presence.  Once this became clear I found that an experience unfolded for me.  Many memories, emotions, followed.  I allowed my presence to be called to different parts of my physical body to be informed.  In particular I noted a pain in the upper right part of my head.  I spent quite a time being present to this pain.  I found myself in the position of resisting much of what was taking place.  I allowed the resistance to be.  It was as though I wanted the resistance itself to inform me.  I realized I was resisting thoughts.  As I allowed the thoughts to come, the pain in my head vanished.  I felt relief.  This pain returned several times during this process of being present.  Each time I would return my presence to the area and through time feel a release and relief.  I noticed a great deal of physical release was taking place through my hands and my feet.   I had releases in the emotional, mental, and physical domain.  In the moral domain, I was informed in amazing ways.  I reminded myself over and over to continue to be present within the domain of the heart.  I was present to my breath aware of it carressing me within behind the sternum.  I concluded the practice in this way: being present to my breath and in the domain of the heart. I opened my eyes into this present reality. â€œ

What Kathleen wrote is a wonderful description of a practice of examining our wounds in a manner that causes the light of the heart to be cast over the wound and banish what is not real . When she described the process of pain, relief and pain and relief and pain and relief again we understand that there are many layers to the pain and the memory and each wave is a layer of it. People who do energy work are aware that there are tissues which carry the memory of our pain and , energy work releases the trapped energy thus allowing the wounds to heal.

Here are some notes from a previous class presented by Himayat that details again the process that Kathleen described. Hopefully a clearer picture of how to do the practice will emerge:

“Breath into the heart,. Experience the radical transformation of identity,. Now from this perspective ( rooted in a vaster ground of being ) be present::

1) To an issue you have with another human. Notice your nafs ammara ( mechanical ego structure ) reacting to this issue. Become aware of the emotions you historically experience around this piece. Identify the "core emotion" of this reactive structure. It is the emotion that consumes and compels you to react in that very certain manner you have demonstrated time after time. Stay present to this emotion. It may intensify, do not be alarmed. It may expand! Eventually it softens, and becomes ever more spacious. As it does this, can you identify I new quality emerging from your depth (through resonance with this particular issue/structure ), an essential quality?

Be present to your breath. What is it's condition? Be present to the five different domains ( physical, emotional, mental, moral, spiritual ). What are their conditions?”.

(Notes from a previous e class by Himayat. The Subtle Heart..)

Wounded Healer

I feel the stirrings of a song
That wants to sing to your dance
It's sad melancholy tune
Making itself heard slowly, surely

I feel the stirrings of love
For the people behind the wounded wounding words
I want to heal the words
But know not how
To have words of truth that cut not
like a scalpel
Removing what pains with pain

Friends , see you not how
You reflect yourself  and me?
See you not how your hurt becomes my hurt?
Can you see your wounds in the mirror of my heart?

Suriya Osman 2003

Part 3

Thank you Marie for your feedback. I note that you noticed a pattern in your emotions and what happened to you on this occasion that you processed in your heart space by being present to the feelings. You then remembered all the previous hurts that were similar and even understood how it all began. This is the beauty of the practise of presence. When we are present to our hurts we illuminate our emotions and we also understand the re actions that we find ourselves re acting.Over and over again we go, re inforcing our ( false) beliefs about how things are, not understanding that it is we ourselves who have a view that is entirely our own and may not be real.

So now we are ready to become the Wounded Healer , the one who can see the what lies behind the wounded wounding words uttered by a person who is experiencing the re actions and the pain that started in their lives from their original wounds.We can transform now into non judgemental healers who do not see a person to judge but a person to be healed , who do not see cruelty and violence as an evil in themselves but dis eases to be healed although the healing may be more complicated than we can undertake on our own.

We are now on the verge of understanding that how we feel may not be what really is and we are on the verge of being able to diss asociate ourselves from our selves. Our historical self is not our real self no matter how much we identify with it.

How did I start to become a healer ?One of the first things I began to notice was a been there done that feeling when I come across my client's problems. This is empathy which is not the same as sympathy.


Definition of empathy.

Pronunciation: (em'pu-thE),
1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
2. the imaginative ascribing to an object, as a natural object or work of art, feelings or attitudes present in oneself: By means of empathy, a great painting becomes a mirror of the self.

Empathy is manifested in the healer by listening with presence. The simplicity of listening with presence and the healing that this brings is beyond our ordinary understanding and can only be demonstrated by an exercise which you can do now .

I ask now that you practice being present to nature. It may be a plant , an animal or a whole garden, any natural subject that you can focus on and be present to .Focus on your chosen subject and adjust yourself to the rhythm and the mood of your subject. I leave it to you to do this. Most of us are sensitive enough to sense the rhythm of a subject we chose and you can share what you do in this class . Spend a few minutes adjusting yourself to the rhythm of the subject you have chosen and then ask a few questions addresing them to the subject of your choice My suggestions on this are:What would yyou like to tell me?How may I be of help to you? If it is a plant, you can exercise exchanging breaths with the plant. Note that plants breath in carbon dioxide and breath out oxygen while you breath out carbon dioxide and breath in oxygen. Noting your interdependence with the plant and with all of life is a very healing exercise and I hope that you will share this with the class after doing the exercise. Any insights and realizations you get from this exercise will take us one step further to healing other human beings .

Part 4

Love itself is the healing power and the remedy for all pain.

Hazrat Inayat Khan Bowl of saki


We have come to the point of understanding the nature of our wounds and how we are wounded, whether or not we understand what caused the wound. We have sat with our own pain, emotional physical, mental. We may explore our spiritual body and our moral body to find out our relationship with God , and other beings, our separation or our connectedness.

We now look with compassionate eyes at suffering humanity, including and encompassing ouselves.Understanding the nature of our wounds, understanding the nature of all wounds, understanding anger, fear and anxiety are we ready to stand aside and let love heal?

Non judgmental non analytical non manipulative can we now sit with the wounded and bring to them the healing inherent in ourselves as channels of God's healing and as mirrors of the person we wish to help/

I found myself a healer before I learned any technique or was taught how to do it. One morning during a busy clinic day, I was addressing a man and discussing with him his treatment . I found my heart expanding and creating a space within, preparing itself for something. I was startled and wondered why because I could not see any situation that warranted such an expansion. I was not feeling sad myself , nor was I upset in any way, the situations that may have brought about such an expansion. Neither was I doing any practices, since I was busy attending to my patients. The man walked out of my room and in walked the next patient. I saw two angry parents and a crying teenage girl. The girl was my next patient and the minute I saw her I knew, it was for her that my heart had gotten ready for. The living heart knows more than the conscious mind. I quietly listened to the angry parents telling of their child escapade. She was at a boarding school, had gone on an outing and returned one day late. A teacher had called the parents and said to them the girl had been up to no good, accusing her of being immodest, a serious accusation in a conservative society . I sent the parents out and listened to the girl.I let her tell her story , felt her hurt and pain , and saw her healing from her pain by my mere listening.I brought to the meeting my heart with its presence and the girl brought to the meeting her pain and with this there was the third presence, The Healing PresenceYa Shafee! Ya Kafee.Explanations and discussions followed and I did all that I knew how to at that time to heal the situation.

Healing by Presence

There is warmth in fire, and there is a greater warmth in feeling. The presence of a person with warm feelings can create an atmosphere of warmth, and the presence of the cold-hearted can freeze one. No doubt warmth of heart is not the only quality the healer needs, he must have the power to heal, besides concentration and a desire to heal. But at the same time it is the name of Christ that is know as that of the Messiah. Messiah in the East means healer, and for a Messiah the power of love is the first quality, love in the form of sympathy. One sympathizes with

another, thinking perhaps, 'He is my relation, friend, or acquaintance', but when sympathy develops to its fullest extent one begins to see in everybody 'I', 'myself', and the pain of everybody one begins to feel as one's own pain.

This is a sign of a true Messiah. How can he heal the wounds of the hearts of the children of the earth and relieve them from pains and sufferings, since life is full of them, when his sympathy is not awakened to such a degree that he feels the pain of another even before feeling his own pain? Every healer who has a spiritual aspiration must develop a spark of the fire of the heart of the Messiah; and then even before trying to heal a person his very presence will heal. When a child is ill the mother approaches it with the wish that it may be well, with a pain in her heart for the suffering of her child. From that moment she becomes a healer, her touch, her word, and her glance do more than medicine or any other remedy. When this mother quality is developed in the heart of the healer, then, when he heals not for any return except the happiness of seeing a soul released from pain, he becomes a healer who can heal merely by his presence.

Hazrat Inayat Khan message volumes iv, part 2



How does one awaken in oneself the quality of the healer, the Empath?I hardly know how to answer this question because for me it came by itself from doing practices, saying my 5 daily prayers and doing my zikr. The one practice that sensitized my heart was the exercise we did earlier with Himayat in the previous lesson on Breath that we did last month. The exercise we did to understand nature sensitizes us to listen to the language of the heart and prepares us to be healers who bring Presence into their lives.

I have no exercises for you this time but invite you to share with the group your moments of healing others who came to you with their hurts and where you acted as a healing presence by listening with Presence.

A good resource on Presence is a previous e class by Jalil Beuchel available in the sufhealing class web site list archives.

http://sufihealingorder.org/classes/presence.htm

Feedback much appreciated. Contact me at

suriya56@yahoo.com


feedback and responses:

Dear Suriya:  Sorry, I am always a bit behind in following the eclasses.
Going back a bit to your very first statement:
> We will be doing a class on wounds and healing. What I mean by wounds are anything that has pained us and continue to cause pain. Sometimes it is difficult to separate physical pain from emotional pain and they are so related that I find, more that 70% of the cases I treat in my clinic are some form of emotional pain that translates into physical illnesses. Most of us want to escape our pain and we find ways and means to dull the pain or remove the pain. I hope in this class we will learn how to deal with our pain and from here , that of others healing ourselves and at the same time becoming healers.
> No one escapes being wounded. Most of us survive our wounds but some of our wounds continue to cripple us , we carry the burdens of our wounds around wherever we go. It is by learning and understanding the nature of our wounds and understanding what caused them and healing from them that we learn to then help others.
What do you mean by "understanding what caused them?" By that I mean, in
your experience, is it really necessary to understand the origin of a
specific wound or even broad patterns of wounding in order to move towards
healing?
I ask this question because in my experience it is not. (Though a causal
understanding may come in many cases).
I attribute a move towards healing without causal understanding as an aspect
of the divine intelligence working though us as we are present.
As for the hidden nature of wounds, could it be that some wounds were
part of our very early development (preverbal, prelanguage). Also, could
some wounds have become so convulated in our defensive mechanisms (coping
skills, survival mechanisms) their orgin or any understandable connection
may be obscured.
Your comments would be appreciated.

Thank you, Jalil
Dear Jalil, Understanding the causes of our wounds and those of others can
be helpful because the understanding can lead to compassion. Himayat once
said something like this: the Dalai Lama said that compassion is a rational
emotion based on an understanding of cause and effect. If we understand the
causes of ours and others' behavior and feelings we will be less likely to
judge harshly. Love and Blessings, Karen Nooriya Mitzner
----- Original Message -----

Dear Jalil
I will try to answer the best I can according to my understanding , in my work in treating patients with *wounds* that affect their behaviour and continue to traumatise their lives.

Jalil Buechel wrote:

What do you mean by "understanding what caused them?"  By that I mean, in
your experience, is it really necessary to understand the origin of a
specific wound or even broad patterns of wounding in order to move towards
healing?   

It is indeed difficult and  often unecessary to go  back to what caused the wound. Having said that, I find it extremely useful to understand the nature of the * delusion* the person is under that is causing the behaviour pattern that the person experiences.
As an example, I am taking this from Dr Rajan Sankaran's book, the Spirit of Homeopathy which is a form of energy medicene as well. If suppposing a man is a gang leader and he is always under threat from the police and rival gang leaders, then he will have a feeling of being under attack and his behaviour will be showing this threat that he is in. He will be aggresive and suspicious and his behaviour can be justified by his situation. Supposing then he has a son and the son adopts the father's behaviour even though he is not a gang leader and has gone to the univerisity and graduated as a teacher. His behavior imitates that of his father while he is not under the same circumstance, and in his case , it is his father's situation that has traumatised him. We as healers may not even know this much, for I personally find it unecessary to learn more than what my client is willing to tell me. But in my case taking I will be asking him about how he feels and how he reacts to people and having learned the skills of case taking, I would understand his feelings of being under threat and understand too that it is a wound. Then through healing . he will be made aware of the nature of the wound and, if he is willing to heal from it , the healing will take place. In my experience what precedes healing is awareness of the nature of the wound.



I ask this question because in my experience it is not. (Though a causal
understanding may come in many cases).

Yes I would agree with you as in the example above , we may not even be able to analyse it as far as knowing the father;s profession.


I attribute a move towards healing without causal understanding as an aspect
of the divine intelligence working though us as we are present.

To understand the reflex nature of our behaviour is enough, to understand that it is not what is real is enough and in this the divine intelligence will guide us .


 As for the hidden nature of wounds, could it be  that some wounds were
part of our very early development (preverbal, prelanguage).  Also, could
some wounds have become so convulated in our defensive mechanisms (coping
skills, survival mechanisms) their orgin or any understandable connection
may be obscured.


Exactly Jalil, in many cases the connection is obscured! I recently have had an experience of sitting with a healer and examining one of my wounds and I will share with you and the class my discovery of how I became this way. In fact , I had no idea where the exercise would lead me. I started with a pain in my lower back , in the sacral area and I examined this pain, and in doing so,I found something, a deep sense of failure that had to do with my natural ineptitude at certain activities. A motocyclist had bumped the back of my car a few days previously and although it was the  motorcylcist's fault, it still brought home to me I am not the world's most skilled driver. I have a problem trying to be graceful and would fall and stumble quite easily. I found myself focusing on this aspect of myself and feeling deeply hurt over my clumsiness.  With the healer merely listeining with presence, I was taken back to the memory of my dropping my baby sister that I mentioned earlier, the incident did not stop there. I had wandered out of the house, since nobody was paying attention to me and had followed a technician reparing some wires by the road. I had  then stumbled and fallen and hurt my forehead and had to be taken to the emergency dept for stitching. And one after another I remembered incidences of stumbling and falling and even on my wedding day I had stumbled and fallen when asked to wear high heels I was not used to. My healing friend then asked me if I saw in all of this a pattern and I saw it.Needless to say my awareness of this pattern brought about a great deal of healing for me, it was a release also from the pattern. I m not saying that I became graceful person and a skilled driver overnight , I m still working on it, but I am more aware of my steps and stumble very much less.

Perhaps I could have healed even if I did not become aware of the reason behind the pain, perhaps I did not need to have had all the memories, perhaps just shining the divine light onto the pain would heal the darkness but in this case shining the divine light brought to me these memories.

wasallam

Suriya


I wrote this last year.
Seem apropriate to the discussions:
Suriya

"I have recently had a very fruitful discussion with a homeopath friend about anger. We had both been trying to elicit proving symptoms from a remedy that I had picked while climbing a hill called turtle hill in the east coast of West Malaysia very near to where huge turtles swam across the ocean to lay their eggs! the both of us had found that the remedy had evoked in us feelings of anger, but it was not as if the anger was not there to start with, only, it had been pushed within and not addressed, causing perhaps a physical tension, hardly noticeable but affecting our senses and organs in its own subtle ways! The energy of anger if not transformed burns and harms within us!Yes if we give vent to it, it may destroy without! My friend from Scotland said the remedy made her unable to keep the anger in but she had found the things she was angry about were those concerning injustice, and she found the anger spurred her to act in proactive and productive ways, thus transforming the energy, she found it liberating! So it has been with me, that the few times in my life when I made the move to transforming , anger started to come to the surface and became the impetus to change myself, and in doing so , telling those around me that I will not take any more nonsense!"

Dear Suriya:  Thank you for this beautiful story and the reminder of the
capacity of the living heart to act in resonance what is called upon.
You also stated:
> Non judgemental non analytical non manipulative can we now sit with the
> wounded and bring to them the healing inherent in ourselves as channels of
> God's healing and as mirrors of the person we wish to help.?
I have managed to find ways to sit with people in a listening, present
attitude when they come for healing sessions or when I am aware there will
be a need for me to listen and attend with presence. However, this is
certainly the most difficult thing for me to do in everyday life. Like an
old tape I find patterns playing out repeatedly.
That being shared, and since you invited stories, I do have story that I
believe illustrates a relationship between the different types of
understanding and knowledge involved in healing that may be helpful to our
discussion.
While working at a clinic for HIV/AIDS patients a few years ago, the
director (a clinical psychologist) referred a young man to me for a
spiritual healing session. This young man was curious about spiritual
healing and set up the appointment with no more expectation than satisfying
this curiosity.
The methodology of the Raphaelite Work involves taking a medical
history of the five domains Murshid discribes: physical, emotional, mental,
moral and spiritual. We began our session with the physical domain and the
young man mentioned he had a sore throat as his only physical symptom.
Though I do not always interrupt the medical history with a practice, I felt
inspired to do so at that time. I asked if he was willing to be present to
his throat. He consented. We started with the practice of entering into the
heart and then being present to the throat from the domain of the heart.
Almost immediately he noted the pain increased and his throat constricted.
With continued support and presence he began to cry. As I inquired further
he said that six years ago his partner had died and that he realized he was
grief stricken. He added that his friends had told him some time ago it was
time to stop grieving and he did but that he was still very sad and
heartbroken. He remarked that he had been plagued with other symptoms of
depression since that moment of shutting down his grief process. We
continued with the session which included hands-on work with a particular
element but essentially the healing session appeared to be distilled in
these few moments of realization and understanding on his part. I referred
him back to the psychologist and with a release from him I let her know
about our session. She said she would talk to him further about appropriate
grief counseling services
Of course not all the healing sessions I attend turn out so neatly rounded
out. Clients sometimes get part way into a difficult issue and start to do
any of a number of things that seem to detract from the presence to the core
piece. Many of those things have already been mentioned by Suriya and
NoorAllah and others: over analysis, fear, self-judgement to name a few.
Non-judgemental orientation, supporting people to presence and supporting
them to their sense of Divine support appears to be key to movement for
them. It is essentially true that my job is to show up on time, take good
notes, keep people from rolling off the table and be a healing presence
(presence with love, innocence, and compassion). Less is more as far as any
preconceived notions I may have are concerned. Nevertheless I do also hold
the client in a space of support and there is some orientation based on cues
from them I receive as I am present
Himayat defines compassion as "true understanding" and likes to tell the
simple example of the guy who comes home late from the office to be
confronted by his wife who demands to know why he is always late. Instead
of responding with excuses or facts (I was only late 3 of 5 times) he
responds "You miss me, you want to be with me more." That's listening from
compassion, listening with discernment but without judgement. I find that
my constant challenge which I can only accept by redefining my day to day
"conflicts" as listening opportunities - a tough thing for me.
Love, Jalil
............................................................................
from NoorAllah
The nature of wounds and healing - a question
>
> In "Healing and the Mind World," Murshid says: "...the way to bring order
> and harmony to our body, to bring order and harmony to our mind, to
> harmonize mind with body, and to harmonize body and mind with soul, is by
> the breath. It is the development of breath, knowledge of breath, practice
> of breath which help us to get ourselves straightened out, to put ourselves
> in tune, to bring order into our being." Herein lies the key to healing.
> What a lifetime study! Life IS our study! Our breath is the vehicle, the
> conduit as Murshid says over and over -- the current between this world and
> that inner world.
>
> With heartfelt gratitude for your compassionate listening,
> NoorAllah
Dear NoorAllah: Thank you for this reminder about the breath from Murshid.
In my experience the breath, through presence, reveals a great deal of
content from the five bodies (physical, emotional, mental, moral and
spiritual). When a person is oriented to this content and supported so they
can view this content then truly much can be revealed. Since our discussion
has been about understanding I must bring into focus Himayat's definition of
compassion as "true understanding." From this perpective, this content,
when exposed to light of the heart and the light from the divine source (a
light upon a light) renders itself to true understanding. This kind of
understanding that appears to have a profound effect on my self in my own
process and on the clients I work with when they feel supported.
To me this process is less about analysis (which nevertheless is very
useful) and more about revealed knowledge or revealed understanding that
arrise spontaneously from presence. As Pir Vilayat has stated : "that which
transpires from that which appears to be."
Love, Jalil

Dear NoorAllah,

Now I understand what Jalil was getting at when you mention the over analysis etcthat goes on there! Again this is a cultural difference that we re looking at. Where I am practising , there is almost no analysis done by anybody, we do not even have psychologists practising, and people are very much unaware of how they are what they are.
The concept of wounding is something I find myself having to constantly stress on in my practise.
As an example, a lady brought in a 3 year old with a tic, he blinked his eyes very often and rapidly . I told her it was a nervous habit and that he is afraid of something or nervous about something. After some time she told me that her husband is very fierce and harsh on the boy who was extremely naughty and she admitted to losing her temper with him very often too. And when she remarked the boy had useless parents, I asked her what her thoughts are about the boy who was her grandson and she said that she was angry with the parents. We discussed this for a while and she agreed to try not to be negative about the boy's parents and see if the boy would be less nughty and less of a handful. It may be that that if the boy grows up with these wounds in chidhood and we see the boy and an angry youth we may not be able to understand the nature of the wound and the reason behind it but as a healer, because I understand how wounds are caused , it helps me to understand his healing now  and his grandmother's role in the healing.

 Were I to have a healing session with the grandmother,  it would  not be necessary to analyse her anger and it would be sufficient to deal with it by Presence and breath.


wasallam

Suriya

Copyright 2006 Dr Suriyakhatun Osman